funny birthday poems

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. ~Author Unknown


Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye. ~Grey Livingston


Prose: ordinary speech or writing, without metrical structure.


The universality of tattooing is a curious subject for speculation. ~James Cook, 1779


If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ~Author Unknown


I am a dancer. I believe that we learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living.... In each it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one's being, a satisfaction of spirit. One becomes in some area an athlete of God. ~Martha Graham, c.1953


I am not quite sure what the advantage is in having a few more dollars to spend if the air is too dirty to breathe, the water too polluted to drink, the commuters are losing out in the struggle to get in and out of the city, the streets are filthy, and the schools so bad that the young perhaps wisely stay away, and the hoodlums roll citizens for some of the dollars they saved in the tax cut. ~John Kenneth Galbraith


A rustle in the wind reminds us a fairy is near. ~Author Unknown


The language of friendship is not words but meanings. ~Henry David Thoreau


You must question a code of ethics that never impedes your progress. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


This is the excellent foppery of the world, that when we are sick in fortune (often the surfeits of our own behaviour) we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and stars: as if we were villains on necessity; fools by heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and treacherous by spherical predominance; drunkards, liars, and adulterers by an enforced obedience of planetary influence; and all that we are evil in, by a divine thrusting on. An admirable evasion of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish disposition on the charge of a star! ~William Shakespeare


Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot. ~Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1958, spoken by the character Holly Golightly


I think the true gardener is a lover of his flowers, not a critic of them. I think the true gardener is the reverent servant of Nature, not her truculent, wife-beating master. I think the true gardener, the older he grows, should more and more develop a humble, grateful and uncertain spirit. ~Reginald Farrer, In a Yorkshire Garden, 1909


Most women are one man away from welfare. ~Gloria Steinem


Behavioral psychology is the science of pulling habits out of rats. ~Douglas Busch


There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. ~Joe Ryan


The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. ~Author Unknown


Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. ~Oscar Wilde, "The Critic as Artist," 1890


I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that, for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well. ~Alan Greenspan


Everyone who has run knows that its most important value is in removing tension and allowing a release from whatever other cares the day may bring. ~Jimmy Carter