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The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance. ~Peter De Vries


Health and cheerfulness naturally beget each other. ~Joseph Addison


A day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness. ~Psalms 84:10


Unjust. How many times I've used that word, scolded myself with it. All I mean by it now is that I don't have the final courage to say that I refuse to preside over violations against myself, and to hell with justice. ~Lillian Hellman


Good things, when short, are twice as good. ~Baltasar Gracian, The Art of Worldly Wisdom


It takes a lot of work from the face to let out a smile, but just think what good smiling can bring to the most important muscle of the body... the heart. ~Author Unknown It takes a while to grasp that not all failures are self-imposed, the result of ignorance, carelessness or inexperience. It takes a while to grasp that a garden isn't a testing ground for character and to stop asking, what did I do wrong? Maybe nothing. ~Eleanor Perenyi, Green Thoughts, 1981


Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. ~Rick Reilly, "Master Strokes," Sports Illustrated


The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. ~Natalie Wood


We have focused on the miracle-thing and I think we often overlook the message of Hanukkah. To me, the core of the holiday is the cleaning of the temple.... The accomplishment was in restoring the temple to the purpose for which it was built. Now think of the temple as a symbol. Perhaps it represents my life. The world has tried to use me for its own (perhaps good, but none-the-less extrinsic) purposes. But now I can rededicate myself to my own original purpose. ~Ralph Levy, "Hanukkah - Another View"


Cats do care. For example they know instinctively what time we have to be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the alarm goes off. ~Michael Nelson


Cookies are made of butter and love. ~Norwegian Proverb


Be sincere; be brief; be seated. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt, on speechmaking


There are only two ways of telling the complete truth - anonymously and posthumously. ~Thomas Sowell


Aphorism, n.: Predigested wisdom. ~Ambrose Bierce


At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly equivalent to herding cats. ~The Washington Post Magazine, 9 June 1985


A skirt is no obstacle to extemporaneous sex, but it is physically impossible to make love to a girl while she is wearing trousers. ~Helen Lawrenson


He who fears something gives it power over him. ~Moorish Proverb


It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it. ~Mark Twain


Neurotics, when they hit bottom, don't stop falling. ~Terri Guillemets


A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it. ~Henry Ford