monday quotes funny

To know the hight sic of a mountain, one must climb it. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827


Television is really what we've been looking for all our lives.... It's perfect. You turn a few knobs and lean back and drain your mind of all thought. And there you are watching the bubbles in the primordial ooze. ~Raymond Chandler, 1950


Traveler: "God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer."


Science without conscience is the soul's perdition. ~Francois Rabelais, Pantagruel, 1572


Just because something is tradition doesn't make it right. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book


A Ming vase can be well-designed and well-made and is beautiful for that reason alone. I don't think this can be true for photography. Unless there is something a little incomplete and a little strange, it will simply look like a copy of something pretty. We won't take an interest in it. ~John Loengard, "Pictures Under Discussion"


It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves; we are underlings. ~William Shakespeare


He rightly reads scripture who turns words into deeds. ~Saint Bernard of Clairvaux


When a man really believes that it is necessary to do a certain thing to be happy forever, or that a certain belief is necessary to ensure eternal joy, there is in that man no spirit of concession. He divides the whole world into saints and sinners, into believers and unbelievers, into God's sheep and Devil's goats, into people who will be glorified and people who are damned. ~Robert Ingersoll, Some Reasons Why


In all science, error precedes the truth, and it is better it should go first than last. ~Hugh Walpole


Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911


It seems to me that any full grown, mature adult would have a desire to be responsible, to help where he can in a world that needs so very much, that threatens us so very much. ~Norman Lear


He who takes medicine and neglects to diet wastes the skill of his doctors. ~Chinese Proverb


It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. ~Marlene Dietrich


What has always made a hell on earth has been that man has tried to make it his heaven. ~Friedrich Holderlin


Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. ~Bible, John 15:13


The bomb that fell on Hiroshima fell on America too. It fell on no city, no munition plants, no docks. It erased no church, vaporized no public buildings, reduced no man to his atomic elements. But it fell, it fell. ~Hermann Hagedorn, "The Bomb That Fell on America"


Time flies on restless pinions - constant never. ~Friedrich Schiller


Dogs have owners, cats have staff. ~Author Unknown


Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world. ~Thomas Carlyle