funny quotes cute

A little chocolate is like a love affair - an occasional sweet release that lightens the spirit. A lot of chocolate is like marriage - it seems so good at first but before you know it you've got chunky hips and a waddle-walk. ~Linda Solegato


Why try to be someone you're not? Life is hard enough without adding impersonation to the skills required. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Loyd: "Exactly like that. 'Thanks for letting me sleep on your couch. I took some beer out of the refrigerator, and I broke a coffee cup. Sorry, I hope it wasn't your favorite one.'"


The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. ~Jules Renard


In the country the darkness of night is friendly and familiar, but in a city, with its blaze of lights, it is unnatural, hostile and menacing. It is like a monstrous vulture that hovers, biding its time. ~Somerset Maugham


Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul. ~Isaac Asimov, I. Asimov: A Memoir


My idea is that there is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require. ~Edward Elgar


A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. ~Martin H. Fischer


All man's troubles come from not knowing how to sit still in one room. ~Blaise Pascal, Pensees, 1670


The devil... seldom leads people astray anymore, finding it easier to just follow along in their footsteps. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is. ~Alan Watts


Black people dominate sports in the United States - 20 percent of the population and 90 percent of the Final Four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too. ~Chris Rock


The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. ~Author Unknown


Every other sin hath some pleasure annexed to it, or will admit of an excuse: envy alone wants both. ~Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy


To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. ~Phyllis Theroux


Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them. ~Author Unknown


He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. ~Benjamin Franklin


The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were. ~David Brinkley


I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. ~Will Rogers